My Friend "Barking Shark"
So, last night Jenn and I are talking to Amy who admits to having eaten a HUGE amount of sugar free candy. Sugar free candy is made with Malitol which can cause EXPLOSIVE SQUARE FARTS!!!
This morning I get the following message:
May have laxative effect:
Oh
My
Friggin
God.
Let's put it this way....went to let a little gas out, right?
WRONG.
Totally shat myself.
AT WORK.
I'll let you have a laugh - how can you not?
I start giggling....a little bit later, I get this message:
this is bordering on truly ridiculous, now.... it hasn't stopped...I am concerned about dehydration, because more water is pouring out of me than I can get in. I broke down and sipped a gatorade along with water...
never ever ever ever evr again will I eat this stuff. I threw the jelly beans away..scared...
oh, going to the post office was fun....*clench* breathe...*clench* breathe....
At this point tears are starting to form....and a new message appears:
LOL your'e welcome..I got sick of pooping water, so I just made the most NUMMY burritos, Atkins style... so now I can have a mexican tornado shoot out my butt, y'know, change things up a bit. If I were to describe what was going on, it sounds like a violent tropical thunderstorm in my guts, someone has put my intestines on 'whip' and then booted up to 'puree'.
Sorry about Crotchheads at work...I have them too....
Did I just say 'crotchheads'?????
Just when I thought I had heard everything - this email appeared:
do not, I repeat, do not hold a rat in your lap for sympathy furbaby love while having explosive farting diarrhea...rat will peel out of lap at 4000 rpm's because you scared the living shit out of it.
And to think you all thought "BarkingShark" had something to do with undewater creatures-----snort
What is just as amusing is her response to "so what did you end up doing at work?
BarkingShark: I shot out of chair, stif-legged it to potty...and cleaned up as much as possible - pants, undies..thank god it was mostle liquid and didnt really stain. Wrapped papertowel into a pad and wore it while undies and pants dried out a bit.
furry
This morning I get the following message:
May have laxative effect:
Oh
My
Friggin
God.
Let's put it this way....went to let a little gas out, right?
WRONG.
Totally shat myself.
AT WORK.
I'll let you have a laugh - how can you not?
I start giggling....a little bit later, I get this message:
this is bordering on truly ridiculous, now.... it hasn't stopped...I am concerned about dehydration, because more water is pouring out of me than I can get in. I broke down and sipped a gatorade along with water...
never ever ever ever evr again will I eat this stuff. I threw the jelly beans away..scared...
oh, going to the post office was fun....*clench* breathe...*clench* breathe....
At this point tears are starting to form....and a new message appears:
LOL your'e welcome..I got sick of pooping water, so I just made the most NUMMY burritos, Atkins style... so now I can have a mexican tornado shoot out my butt, y'know, change things up a bit. If I were to describe what was going on, it sounds like a violent tropical thunderstorm in my guts, someone has put my intestines on 'whip' and then booted up to 'puree'.
Sorry about Crotchheads at work...I have them too....
Did I just say 'crotchheads'?????
Just when I thought I had heard everything - this email appeared:
do not, I repeat, do not hold a rat in your lap for sympathy furbaby love while having explosive farting diarrhea...rat will peel out of lap at 4000 rpm's because you scared the living shit out of it.
And to think you all thought "BarkingShark" had something to do with undewater creatures-----snort
What is just as amusing is her response to "so what did you end up doing at work?
BarkingShark: I shot out of chair, stif-legged it to potty...and cleaned up as much as possible - pants, undies..thank god it was mostle liquid and didnt really stain. Wrapped papertowel into a pad and wore it while undies and pants dried out a bit.
furry
posted by Furry at
8:28 PM
1 Comments:
I shit myself and I'm proud of it!
As i was reading his, I realized how amusing it was to read that *I* scared the living shit out of my rat. Because *I* had no shit left....
By
Barking Shark, at 3:20 AM
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